| Whew.... |
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| 11:57am 14/12/2009 |
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mood:  cheerful music: Daruis Rucker - "History in the Making"
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Lots going on lately. My grammy left to stay in Ocala with her sister's daughter for a little while. They leave for NY again Wednesday. I feel bad i didn't get to spend all that much time with her, but there's not much my parents would have let me do. She just sat there. Very depressing. But today my cousin Kimberly and Auntie Bebot arrived from the PI. They brought a ton of food and clothes. It's very exciting. We're baking cookies. Dad's already got the chocolate chip, cream cheese, and pinwheel cookies done. We're baking raspberry thumbprint cookies now, I have to bake a small batch of peanut butter cookies for Bran, and the spritz (sugar) cookies. I've been crocheting like mad. Made a bag. It was for me, but in my defense, it was also a test to see if my made-up-in-my-head pattern would work. It did, not the way i expected, but it did. So i now have a handbag and know how to make several more within a couple of days. I'm pleased. I have a way to make gifts. Yay! and I have thin yarn to make ornaments with (yes, jen, I saw your facebook, and you will hopefully get one. I'll call ya!). Right now I'm talking to my old buddy Jason... er... Eve. Good times. My friend Justin beat Lymphoma. Very nice, though he's been a jerk in other ways... long story and not really mine to tell. Otherwise, I'm doing alright. Got into a little fender bender. Nothing serious. My left front blinker doesn't work. But i have the replacement bulb, so hopefully I'll get around to fixing it before I get a ticket for it. Other than that. Life's okay. Still stuck at the dollar store, but I'm dealing with it. I have an interview with LearningRX for a part-time tutoring job. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Brandon makes me so happy. We've both been really stressed, and sometimes we get a little sharp with eachother, but by the end of the day, we're always still in love and happy to have each other. And that's what counts isn't it? I think so. I love him so much. Well, cookies are up and I've got to keep crocheting. Until we meet again...
Don't breath too deep. Don't think all day. Dive into work, drive the other way. That drip of hurt, that pint of shame goes away. Just play the game... |
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| We're Never Gonna Survive, unless we get a little crazy... |
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| 05:22pm 24/11/2009 |
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mood:  amused music: Jack Johnson
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I've been pretty busy. I've been baking a lot. Making canoli cream filled cupcakes for thanksgiving. Just got the recipe for the canoli. I'm pretty excited about it. I'm going all out and buying publix butter-cream icing. Gonna color it orange and yellow and red for thanksgiving. Yay! Been working a lot. My hope is that TSA will give me enough hours by january or february for me to be able to put in my two weeks at the dollar store. I really hate it there. It brings me down tremendously whenever I have to wake up in the morning to go there. Wish I could find a job I truly love. Tour guiding comes close, but it's so seasonal, I can't rely on it to pay my bills. I can't really rely on the dollar store to pay my bills either, though the flexible scheduling is very nice and I'm grateful for it. My job hunting has come to a screeching halt in lieu of my working all day on the weekdays and needing the days I have off to clean my house and spend time with Brandons and Grammy and my mom. I haven't had a day off yet where I've actually taken time to truly relax, although that will get more and more difficult since I've decided to start reading crime and punishment. It's been interesting so far, It's over 500 pages long, and I'm on page 25. I'm at this cafe in Flagler Beach, the Beach House beanery, and there's a knitting group here hanging out and shooting the shit and having a good old time. I like them. I told them I crochet and they said I should come. Every Tuesday, 5 until 7. It looks like fun, After thanksgiving I might have to put in some time with them. The cafe mocha I have is awesome. It's one of the few coffees I've ever had that I didn't need to add sugar to. It's not sweet in the common sense of the word, but it just doesn't need it. It's yummy. Bran's having fun working in St. Augustine. He's been wonderful all around lately. Even bought me a Shakespeare book with quotes about Love in it. I was very impressed. Well, I'm about finished with my mocha, so I'm outta here. LOVE!
Life is all about how you handle plan B. |
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| For Worse, or better... |
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| 03:03pm 09/11/2009 |
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mood:  blah music: 4:12 Band: "Remarkable"
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I've renewed my lease. It seemed kinda futile to move after having worked so hard on my apartment, even if I could have found rent as good in as nice of a spot. Still working on finding a new job, it's getting stressful. To really seek a job the way I need/want to, I have to take off of work, but, obviously, I can't exactly do that all the time without seriously cutting my budget too close. I've got to start going around to bussinesses in person, but don't know where to start or exactly what to do. I'm been moving a lot more into music again, still trying to learn guitar, though not doing so well. It's a little too different from violin. I've really got to memorize the notes on the frets. Was never good at that, even on the violin. My Grammy's living with my parents now. I feel bad for her, she just sits on my parents' couch and watches T.V. It's a shame. She should be out and about and doing things. Wish I could help her. ::sigh:: Want to start writing again, and reading. I finished Lord of the Rings for like the 13th time. I love those books. Wish I could live in Middle Earth. That's what makes the books so great. Brandon's still wonderful, still perfect. I'm worried about my future, I want to be able to control it and know for sure that I'll be with him down the road. I know I can't do that, so I just have to keep believing that we're meant to be together. And I know we are. It's how long that I'm worried about. I Love him soo much. I guess I should just be happy with what I have since I have it right now. And I am. I just can't help worrying about the future.
Everyone calls you amazing, I just call you mine... |
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| Trying to keep the faith.... |
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| 01:21pm 04/10/2009 |
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mood:  okay
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I'm really stressed... I need a new job... I need to decide whether I'm moving or not... I need to figure out what the hell is wrong with my system besides being totally stressed out all the time. I work, I go out with Bran, I eat, I attempt to sleep. And then I do it over again and I've been ignoring everything up ahead. Now everything up ahead is a little too close to ignore and I'm totally freaking out. I'm searcning for a job like crazy, trying desperately to figure out my finances, and, mostly, trying to keep positive and independant and healthy, which is kinda working, mainly because Bran's on my case and feeding me a lot of the time. lol. I dunno... I'm at a loss for action. I don't really have a career path anymore, I'm just trying to make ends meet. I just, feel a little left behind I guess. I feel like I'm not meeting my own potential... I dunno... I just don't know...
I'm definitely sure that I'm not sure... |
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| Countdown to meltdown... |
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| 09:03pm 28/09/2009 |
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mood: blah music: .......
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I haven't been sleeping well. I've been worrying a lot. October is days away, and I don't have to money to pay my student loans... I actually don't even have the money to pay rent on hand right now, let alone electric, health insurance... I'm just really stressing. I don't feel like I'm where I need to be, and I know there's something that needs to change. I don't know what needs to change, and I'm worried that the changes that need to happen are changes I don't want to happen. I just... I'm worried about so many things i can't seem to change, but if I got fired from my job tomorrow, it wouldn't bother me. I hate Dollar General. I don't get payed enough to deal with the rude customers, the dust which has kick started allergies, the corporate bull-shit. I just can't keep going the way I am... I was sent home from work today at lunchtime because I was sto tired I was shaking and bumping into things and I was really worried I would miscount change or something. I'm going to end up sick... and I can't afford that either. My OBGYN has stopped taking my insurance, so I have to find a new one or pay out of pocket... which sucks, because everything wrong with me is more than likely hormonally caused... I've been mood swinging A LOT, so bad even Brandon had to say something. Something's gotta give... something's gotta change, or I'm going to fizzle out into nothing, and it won't be anyone's fault but my own.
................... |
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| ANNOUNCEMENT! |
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| 09:07pm 20/09/2009 |
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The band that I am a member of: 4:12 Band is having their debut on Sunday, Septmeber 27th at Noon during the Fall Festival at St. Joseph's Catholic church in Mandarin off of Old St. Augustine Road. If you can, we'd love to have you there. |
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| updates... |
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| 02:30pm 16/09/2009 |
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mood:  bored music: people buying hotsauce
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I had an angry message on September 11th about how nobody I talked to that day expect for Brandon and his co-workers even acknowledged that that day existed at all as a holiday or a day of memorial... people make me mad sometimes...
I've been looking at my life, looking at my options and the choices I've made in the past. I don't regret anything, though I'm not completely happy where I am, I just have to find ways to make me happier without asking too much of anyone else. So I bought a guitar and I'm learning to play. I've started reading novels again, just in time for my brain to stop rotting away with magazines. I bought items to help keep my house clearner faster, a new sweeper vack, those closet ahngers that drop down and leave extra room in the closet. The only thing missing is the motivation, which I don't have, but hope to get soon, from somewhere. I also decided, last night, that after I finish Mrs. Dalloway I'm going to start reading Shakespeare again with the aim of starting a book, I'm just writing it for fun, but who knows, if I can make it accessable enough to publish, I might. It'll take a loong time though. Still have no hopes for a better job than dollar general, which I am still miserable at, but I'm trying. My hours don't make it easier to contact anyone since most offices open and close at the same times I get to and leave work. Oh well.
Bran's first day of work with St. Augustine is today. I'm proud of him. I'm sure he's having a great time.
Back to Mrs. Dalloway.
Should've turned left but I turned right, and ended up here, and I feel alright. |
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| I got a feelin'... |
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| 12:30pm 06/09/2009 |
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mood:  hungry music: Mass... ugh.. my mother's crazy
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Last night was a good night. Bran and I went out for the day, hit Universal (though sadly did not ride any roller coasters...) We started out pretty late, getting to the park around 1-ish so that we could hang out all night. Brought a change of clothes, so we could go to dinner and go clubbing. We made out pretty good, with a meal and party pass which got us dinner and acess to all the night-clubs for $21 a person. Pretty good deal. I wanna go back. We had a great time. Bran's just the best date I could ask for. Perfection. Otherwise, not much going on, My body hates me, I hate my job, and I still hardly ever get to the beach even though I live right across the street from it, and I'm still broke. ::sigh:: Whatev... eventually it'll change for the better. It has to. Until then, I'm hungry, and I'm going to eat.
There's too much month at the end of the money, not enough dough at the end of the day. Don't know why I'm laughing 'cause it sure ain't funny. There's too much month at the end of the money. |
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| Desperate, but taking my time... |
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| 10:17am 30/08/2009 |
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mood: okay music: my mother complaining and the t.v.
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I'm pretty much desperate for a new job. They've been slowly but surely cutting my hours to where I can barely survive on what I make. Thankfully, with Suzanne going out of town to take care of her very soon mother-to-be daughter, working in St. Augustine is going to be picking up just enough. I have applications in with a bunch of state jobs that i'll never hear back for, and I have an application, which I'm pretty much countin on, with the city of Flagler Beach for a clerk position. Bran knows the city manager and will hopefully come through, but i need it. Just to buy gas, and food and pay rent, let alone anything else. Bran's got his dream-come-true life ahead of him. He's just been hired with the City of St. Augustine, giving him a pay-raise, and a job he truly loves and will be secure in, not to mention he gets to work in our favorite city. I'm slightly jealous, but very proud. Eventually things will come through for me. Until then, I have a new project to take up my spare time: I bought a guitar. It's a johnson, and it's blue. And I can already play, from memory, though slowly, A, B, C, D, E, and G major chords... I've only had the guitar for three days. See, i wrote a song for my church band and I'm trying to find the chords for the song... I know it starts with D. I've gotten that far.
Can music save your mortal soul?
yes, yes it can. |
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| A disappointing day... |
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| 03:35pm 19/08/2009 |
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mood: blah music: the air curtain blowing
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I was hoping today I would be able to lay down and relax and hang out with Brandon in the morning, have lunch, and go to work well-satisfied that my day was well-spent. Then last night my parents asked me if i would pick them up from the rent-a-car place in daytona so I told them I would, figuring that we'd spend our hour and a half to two hours with my parents, come back, and continue our relaxing time. Well, because nothing i ever do goes as planned, when Brandon got there in the morning he was tired and quickly went to sleep, I however, having slept through the night, was not and after lying around for a while, I gave up and simply took a shower. we were figuring we'd get my parents around noon-time and then I'd go to work at 3:30 here in St. aug... well, the car had to be back by 12:30, so that was not a possibility, and Bran had to pick up a change of clothes So we ended up leaving the house at 10:50 or so, when we get a call from my parents sayign their runnign late and tehy'll call when they leave. So Bran and I figure we'll leave anyway, stop and get starbucks, go to his house for a minute and by then my parents will have left... no.. 12:15 rolls around, and my parents haven't called. I'm now stressing out because I call them and I get my mother yelling at me and hanging up. So Bran's hungry and he stops and gets food, I'm not so I didn't eat, I'm too stressed out. Finally my parents call as Bran's finishing his sandwich, we drive to daytona and pick my parents up in my car. As we're leaving I hear a strange grinding noise. Turns out that little fender bender I got into a couple weeks ago bent the tire well to where, when I have passengers, the tire grind against it... well... I can't drive like that down the highway, my tire will explode. We try several different passenger configurations... it happens regardless... So my parents end up taking a taxi home... all that time... all that gas...and all I get is worry and heartache... I got really upset about, and Bran keeps trying to tell me to make the best of it... I tried... But I have this problem with making the best of it: I've spent pretty much my whole life lately trying to make the best of everything--the dead-end job, the fender bender and ticket, the lack-luster beach apartment that has brought me little else but grief (and a few hours at the beach total in the past 4 months), the dying hope I have of ever finding a better job, the coming fear of having to pay back my student loans with money I don't have (less than a month and a half to go)--and the only thing I have going for me is Brandon, so I try to milk the time I have with him for all it's worth, and when that fails, my life just feels that much emptier and I have a harder time making the best of it because everything else is already hard enough to deal with... Just wanted to vent about it while I have net access... it's really hard to explain when you're trying to calm down and you can't stop blubbering...
this is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world... |
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| Another while... |
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| 08:28pm 13/08/2009 |
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mood: blah music: a coors light commercial
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Well... it's been an eventful two weeks... The saturday before last I went to a wedding in Orange Park. I sang at the ceremony and it was really beautiful. The people getting married were in my church band, our drummer and one of our singers. That leaves two unmarried people in our band, me, and Scott who is looking at going into the priesthood or brotherhood. Oh well. I'm in no hurry. After the wedding I got into a little bit of a fender bender. I was lost, it was raining really hard, and according to one witness I ran a red light which landed me side-swiping another car. $219 later, I have to take traffic school again to keep the points off my liscence. Oh well. At least my car still runs and the dent in the door is not that bad. This past saturday I went to another wedding, Brandon's cousin. He's a DJ in Orlando, so his reception was like being in a very posh night-club (the reception was in an art gallery). It was fun. We stayed in a very posh hotel, The Grand Bohemian, and went to Universal the next day with Bran's cousin Michelle (not the cousin who got married) and his Aunt Deb. It was a good time overall. Otherwise, I've been working as much as I can, and my parents went to Buffalo and Long Island for the week. I'm a little jealous, but I need the money so I guess I'll deal with it. I'm worried about my student loans which I have to start paying in October, so I've been applying to every bettery-paying job I can find, which is quite a few since I only make $7.25 an hour now... It sucks... and they've cut my hours fom 40 a week to around 26-30... and right around the time my electric bill went up another $50 for no apparent reason. I'm thrilled. NOT! But, Brandon and I are still together, and I still live at the beach (even though I never get to go there), and I'm still alive... (I'm really trying to be postive, can you tell?) I'm just praying for the best. If I can get a better, more reliable, full-time job, I'll be happy. Even though it will completely take over my life.
Right now, I was hoping to watch Lord of the Rings with Brandon while we did our laundry, but instead we're watching baseball. Oh well.
I wanna do it all... |
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| It's been a long time... |
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| 02:17pm 26/07/2009 |
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I haven't had internet, and the only reason I have it now is because I'm at my parent's house doing my laundry and updating my budget sheet. Yes, I created a spread-sheet that keeps track of my budget because I need to stay within my means or I'll die... It took a while to get it right, but I think I've finally got it working up to speed, and all I have to do is enter debits and withdrawals and it seems to work fine. Brandon and I went to Universal for my birthday, which was a blast, got soaked on the water rides, ate at the Hard Rock. Good times! Woke up this morning, Brandon made us brunch, and we discovered a leak in the ceiling above my shower, went to investigate and discovered that my Kentucky landlord had finally come down for a visit. The leak more than likely came from his bathroom which is kind of a pain, and the ceiling looks like it's about to come down. No good. But he himself seems nice enough, and his boyfriend is in strikingly good shape and looks like a country version of Fabio... they were really nice and knocked on my door to come in and check the leaks and make sure everything was alright. They're sincere about fixing the building up, which is good. Otherwise, pretty uneventful in my life right now. Still plugging away at Dollar General. Brandon's Birthday is next friday, we may go to Universal that weekend. I have a wedding to sing at Saturday, and another wedding to attend the following saturday... lots of weddings... none of them mine (thank goodness... they're soooo stressful). Otherwise, bussiness as usual.
Same-old, same-old.. |
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| A clean getaway... |
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| 01:00pm 28/06/2009 |
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mood:  calm
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Things have been going alright. Dollar General is sapping all my spare energy and the rest goes to Ghost tours and trying to spend the rest of my time with Brandon and/or cleaning my apartment and trying to get settels in, which I'm not... My family and I, Bran included, went up to Long Island for a few days to help my aunt clean out my grandparent's house. We dug through the basement and the ground floor finding ancient artifacts, toys, and thousands of amazing pictures of my grandparents at my age, just married and looking amazingly happy and gorgeous. I showed some of the pictures to my grammy, trying to get information on where they were, how old, etc. and i showed her this one picture of her, mid-twenties, in this fabulous dress that draped just below the knees with a very stylish collar and brooch and these amazing high-heels that even I probably couldn't wear. The pic was in a photo album my grandpa had put together (nobody knew he was that sentimental, except perhaps grammy) and she looked at the photo smiled and said, "oh yeah, I made that dress!" it was a beautiful dress, and she was a beautiful woman. That really puts things in perspective... pictures of them that look like pictures that brandon and I take and swap and stick in photo albums... and a stack of love-letters grammy had gotten from grandpa, signed with goofy nicknames, oozing with lovey-dovey phrases... They were married for 63 years... and before we lost grandpa, you could tell that they were together not out of convenience or complacency, but out of love. One in a million relationships today will end that way. It makes me grateful to have Brandon, and a roof over my head, and my youth and health, because it all goes by so quickly in the long run doesn't it? If you spend too much time worrying about the future, or the past, you'll miss what's right in front of you... I don't want that. I want my grandkids to be able to sift through my pictures and say what I said, "Wow, that's an amazing life..."
Lord take this life from me, 'cause I don't need it anymore. I am finally free, my heart is spoken for... |
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| a good start to a bad day... |
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| 02:07pm 07/06/2009 |
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mood:  angry music: Gladiator on the T.V.
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My mother is yelling at me... she's pretty much calling me a whore and telling me i'm going to end up alone, poor, and pathetic... Apparently I'm an ungrateful daughter and have no respect to my parents or myself. She's already dissed Brandon's mother, saying I'm nicer to her than I am to my own mom... (true, but Brandon's mother hasn't shouted in my face about how stupid and arrogant I am) which has just bumped her down in my repsect scale even more. She's dissing my reasoning for staying near Brandon and pissing me off with every other word. I'm completely pissed off. Completely. Just seething.... trying not to kill my voice shouting at my mother so I can possibly sing at church today... although my mother says I don't deserve to go to church so... who knows maybe I'll just go to the beach??? Oh... listen... now she's dissing Brandon... I can already forsee the years of bliss when I stop speaking to her... At least I got the lease to my apartment back. That's always nice. She had taken it to "make a copy" and never given it back. She threw it at me. She's now saying that I wouldn't have a penny without her... but she'll never understand that money is nothing compared to being able to hang out and talk to and care about a parent. Whatever. She'll blow off her steam and then beg me to drive her to the salon in a couple of weeks. It just pisses me off... Thanks to my dad and Brandon for endowing me with their patience and level-headedness... I've stopped shouting back at her... Need to throw my laundry in the dryer...
Maybe I'm the one who is the schizophrenic psycho... |
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| Boredom.... stolen from my twin! |
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| 08:30pm 29/05/2009 |
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mood: bored music: Brandon's voice
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1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
retarded ex-boyfriend Scott...
2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
first question answers the second question...
3.What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
Captain Morgan rum... from a maple syrup bottle during high school.
4. What was your FIRST job?
umm... officially, hostess at outback.
5. What was your FIRST car?
2000 Mazda Protege, technically my dad's.. but i drove it.
6. Who was the FIRST person to text/IM you?
????? don't remember...
7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
Megan/Lauren... i had a dream... it was Lauren in Megan's body... really weird..
8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Ms. Simms... she said i was a flirt and should be kept in check.
9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
The Philippines... i was one. technically the first stop-over was Alaska.
10. Who was your FIRST best friend?
Kaitlyn... don't remember her last name... but her dog bit me in the face...
11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
at a girl names katy's house. She was my dad's friend's daughter... it was very awkward.
12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Brandon!! <3
13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
my parents. it was their third one in the philippines... church wedding.
14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
wish i could go back to sleep...
15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
Chicago... i'm a nerd...
16. FIRST tattoo?
ladybug!!!
17. FIRST piercing?
ears. now i have two on each ear.
18. FIRST foreign country you've went to?
Philippines!
19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
The little mermaid.
20. When was your FIRST detention?
Wasn't there very long. Was sent in ISD 'cause my shorts were too short. The were overalls. I adjusted them and got sent back to class.
24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
Play guitar
25. Did you marry the FIRST person to ask for your hand in marriage?
ummm.... no...
26. What was the first sport that you were involved in?
ballet.
27. What were the first lessons you ever took?
ballet... later violin...
28. What is the first thing you do when you get home?
Keep talking to Brandon since I'm ususally already on the phone with him. |
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| A good, yet rainy, day! |
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| 11:46pm 18/05/2009 |
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mood: cheerful music: bran on the phone <3
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Ate breakfast with Brandon who helped me tape up all the not-to-be-blue parts of my room and cover the floors with painter's plastic. We then went to his house where he changed and then we went to home depot to find the type of wood we need to lay on the floor to put the linoleum down. We found one type for pretty cheap, a little over 5 bucks. so we should need three 4x8 sheets to cut down to fit in the room. Should be good. I'm pretty excited!! Then we went back to his house, took a nap, and then parted so that he could go meet the guy who's going to put the well on his lot. I went and stopped by my mum's house, then went to publix, then went to my apartment to start cutting in with the paint. Jen called and said she was on her way, and my twin and I had a good time painting and eating and painting and eating more. lol! It was good to catch up! and I get to catch up with Lauren tomorrow!! Yay!! Good times shall be had, even though I have to wake up at a god-forsaken hour to get to my first day of work on time at 8am tomorrow... phew... i should sleep....
ummmmm....
(to quote Brandon)
:-D |
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| Streppin'? |
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| 09:45pm 16/05/2009 |
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mood:  sick music: Kenny Chesney - Somewhere in the Sun
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I feel ill... I think i have a fever and my tonsils are the size of good size marbles and a red color that Brandon would probably think would look really nice on a wall. No Sniffles, hardly any coughing, no congestion of any kind... just a fever and a nasty sore throat... Suzanne said it sounded like strep to her and told me to go home after the 8 o'clock tour, so I did, and I've been puttering ever since. I should probably take my nyquil and eat my grapefruit, brush my teeth and go to bed, but as tired as I am I don't feel like it. ::sigh:: I managed to get the carpet pad out after going to the real estate office and asking in person, but they left the tacks which my dad had to pull up to the dismay of his sore fingers... the floor's nasty. I'm gonna lay down masonite and put linoleum tiles over it. They look like wood. It'll be really nice. I got a job at Dollar General, though I haven't heard back as to when I start... It's gotta be sometime this week, just don't know when... that oughtta be fun... Things are going well, though not exactly how I imagined it... Brandon talked me into just taking my old twin-size bed and my dad very promptly talked me out of it. He said it was old and creaked a lot and I wouldn't want it. Might as well get a new one... I guess I'll take both their advices and just get a new twin-size bed... whatever... I'm so tired of trying to figure out how everything's gonna go... It's getting ridiculous... ::sigh:: My parents and I managed to get all the moulding and the closet painted white. That'll dry overnight and I can tape it over so I can start painting the walls. It's all gonna be monochromatic blues. The large room will be a pretty beach-blue, the "bedroom" will be a lighter shade, and the bathroom will be an even lighter shade. It'll look really nice I think. I'm pretty excited about it. I just want to be done packing. I need help sorting through my old clothes and all my stuff to decide what I'm going to be bringing to the apartment (which won't be much I can garauntee that). If anyone gets the sudden urge to help me, I have no idea what my schedule is now, so it's gonna be pretty crazy. I just hope I don't have strep... though I'm pretty sure I do... which sucks...
I ain't here to do anything halfway. Don't give a damn what anyone might say. I just wanna free-fall for a while... |
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| Stressin' |
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| 05:32pm 11/05/2009 |
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mood:  aggravated music: NPR talking about the hubble space telescope...
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Though everything big seems to be going just fine for me, most of the little things I've wanted or tried have failed, been put on hold, or been changed in some way to my annoyance. My mom was pissy for mother's day. She wanted a picnic, i suggested one before I went to church, she wasn't ready. So we met Bran's parents and him at the raintree like we said we would, and mom didn't want that... she wanted a small picnic or something but i "had to turn it into a big deal..." Now she knows how I felt about my birthdays and my graduation... she can bloody well get over it... Then today I had plans to clean my apartment out some more, my dad and I managed to clean everything in the bathroom but the floor, and clean out the refridgerator, vaccum the floors on Saturday... so I was gonna finish the bathroom and start on the oven. Now, in my apartment there's a small section designated (I guess) to be the bedroom and they had this nasty gree carpet. I had asked that the carpet be removed and the realtor (representative of the landlord) suggested I keep the padding there. I told her i did not need the padding and the wood floor would probably be easier to clean but she obviously didn't listen. The day I signed the lease the green carpet was gone, the pink pad remained... I thought they might remove it today, but it was still there today, so I tried to call the landlord directly and could not get a hold of him. I tried calling the realtor who simply beat around the bush saying she thought I wanted the padding there and the pad's still good so why not use it etc. I asked her if there was any good time to call the landlord and she said he should be home and to leave a message and he'd get back to me. I explained to her that I couldn't leave a message because his box was full and she said "oh, well, keep trying..." I can totally forsee having to take the pad out myself and paying to put linolium in or something... I just wish I knew what they would rather have me do. I really don't like carpet, especially in a house by the beach where sand and moisture are going to be constant problems. I think linolium is easier to take care of and work with. I just hate carpet in general... but I won't know what to do with the floor until I can get a hold of the landlord. GAAAH!!! I don't mind putting the linolium in myself, but I really don't want to deal with that pad. On top of that, I couldn't clean as much as I would have liked because my mother broke a nail and HAD to go to the salon, even though she only got her toe-nails, not her fingernails, done. I was so mad... and she was mad because I was mad... there was a lot of mad. To top it all off, I have to drive her to the doctor tomorrow too... and to the salon again on wed. making it pretty much impossible for me to spend time packing. I'll be running around like a chicken with my head cut off because I'm apparently my mother's personal chauffer... grrrrr.... I am so ticked off... just completely irritated. At least I made it back to St. Aug in time to play softball... even though I have to go to work right afterwards... I need a drink... won't get one of those either, probably... that sucks... I need sleep too.... nope... have to wake up early tomorrow.. have to cancel my run with chris... may be able to go thurs. afternoon... but still... i want to run... i know i sound like a whiny bitch... but isn't that the point of this thing??? yeah... i think so...
God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy... |
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| Movin' Out!!! |
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| 12:17pm 07/05/2009 |
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mood:  excited music: Something Celebratory would be good... but it's quiet...
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Wow... all this stuff has happened so fast... within a week I have gotten a new car and now a new apartment. It's pretty crazy... But, totally awesome. Now, the apartment needs quite a bit of fixing up, but I had an idea for that... I have a month to get out of Janis's so I have about two weeks to be cleaning both places at once... Once I finish cleaning I want to paint... And I would love to have a little painting party. An excuse to order pizza and get drinks and get a buncha my friends together to hang out and help me paint because otherwise it may take forever what with the taping and the laying of the plastic out and everything. Besides, it may be one painting party in Flagler and one in St. Aug. since I need to paint my old room before I go as well. Phew... And there's a few people (::cough:: Jen and Lauren ::cough::) that I haven't seen in a looong time and would really like to. It would be wonderful. So uh, sometime within the next two weeks?? I'll be at me beach-front apartment... te he!!!!
Now all I need is a job... I get the feeling I may be pretty close... I'm prayin' for one somewhere in Palm Coast or Flagler County at least, but if the pay or benefits are worth it, I'll bloody well commute to Orlando... lol!
For the times, they are a'changin'... |
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| movin' on... |
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| 11:13am 30/04/2009 |
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mood:  blank music: Jack Johnson - Better Together
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Well, i graduated, had a little dinner party at Hurricane Patty's which was larger than I wanted it to be but still pretty cool. After graduation, which was at 9am for some ungodly reason, Brandon and I walked over to the Cathedral Festival to ride the ferris wheel and play some festival games. We won three goldfish who have since passed on, but they died in style with their very own tank with blue pebbles and a bubbler. There was something wrong with the fish. All three of them, before they died, got this weird white algea-looking stuff all over them. Then the next day they were dead. Sadness. Bran and I named them after the Three Musketeers: Athos, Porthos, and Aramis. My mom, who took care of them while we were at Disney for two days(a great time), renamed them Barack, William Clinton, and Nancy Pelosi(sp?). Apparently she didn't think they would live very long. I think she jinxed them... But it looks like my parents are going to clean out and keep the fish tank for some fish my mom wants to buy. More power to them. I got a call to take the test for a Division of Foresty temp. clerical position. I was testing against 70 other people so I'm not keeping my hopes up, but the test was pretty simple and straight forward. The people who were working at the forestry office were really nice, and the people who were testing were pretty rude, only a few I really got along with. The rest were sniveling under their breaths during the whole test like everybody else were evil competitors who didn't deserve to live or something. We had to share computers. It wasn't really a big deal. I passed off the computer I had to a nice person. She was grateful. Other than that, not a whole lot else new. I am barely making rent with the money I'm not making at work, and I'm trying desperately to find some real job that will provide me a means for getting an apartment and being able to pay off my student loans come October. geez louise...
Oh yeah, I'm still looking for a car... used, four door, automatic, good gas mileage, mileage below 60,000, A/C and radio. If anyone hears of anything let me know...
the word it Love |
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pinketysue's journal